Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i out mim tonsoeep
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
