just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
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Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
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Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
as a side note pls kill me
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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