Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
