I got chris browned last night
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
