Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
