i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
