I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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