he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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