I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
