woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
