I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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