Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
