Pants 0. Shit 1.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
