His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize