my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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