Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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