Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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