if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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