it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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