i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize