Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
