he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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