I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
