you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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