DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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