It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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