The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
