i think i have two assholes
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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