You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
