I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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