so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
