I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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