I just made out with a guy for $7.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
