My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
