cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Randomize
