Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
