season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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