i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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