the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
