Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
