god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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