You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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