Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
