Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize