Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
