I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize