In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You've changed since you got that strap on
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize