thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
operation harelip BJ is a go
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize