pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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