so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
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i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
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Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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