i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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