but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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