She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
