I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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