You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
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I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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