There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
