If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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