Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
