how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
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Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
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HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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